I love family and I believe marriage and family is vital to our well-being. Relationships and marriage affect every area of our life. We all have family members and friends who are either in a relationship, seeking a relationship, engaged or married. On the other hand, we all know someone whose greatest desire is to meet someone special, to one day get married and have kids. Often singles are misunderstood. Statistics tell us that more than 43 percent of all adults in the US are single. (DePaulo, 2009) There are some singles that are single by choice and love their singleness. I don’t have a problem with understanding their views. I myself have been single for a long time and enjoy my single life. I would love to marry again, but I want to have a better understanding of relationships and marriage before I make a commit to someone special. As life changes happen, we try to learn from our mistakes so when the next opportunity comes by, we can do better. I have made a promise to myself, my next marriage is for life and divorce is not an option.
I believe friendship is important to having a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage. Friendships usually begin when outside circumstances allow you to meet someone special. As an acquaintance, you quickly discover you both have mutual interest. Afterwards, the relationship grows and you both begin to build trust and understanding which leads to you becoming friends. A strong friendship will be the springboard for beginning a healthy relationship.
Sex does not always lead to love. I’ve noticed this is a major confusion among singles as well as couples. Most friendships that begin with sex end in disappointment and confusion. Yes, I believe it’s important to be physically attracted to the person you one day want to marry, but if the only attraction is sexual, the foundation of the relationship is faulty and once the sparks go out, there is nothing the couple have to hold their relationship together. I don’t have any data to support this statement, but I have seen from personal experience, most marriages based on sexual fantasy and perverted thoughts end quickly in divorce.
Often we assume that love means the same thing to everyone, but in most cases no two people view love in the same way. In marriage we hear again and again, “I just don’t love him or her anymore’ or “I love him, but I’m not in love with him.” What this usually means is that a particular quality a person desires in love is missing or has changed in the relationship.
Because I have experienced separation and divorce on personal level, I continue to research how to bullet proof marriages from divorce. It doesn’t make sense to continue down the same road, doing the same things and expecting different results. I believe relationships are vital and should be viewed as such. Divorce is painful for all those who are involved. It has a detrimental effect on kids and most spouses have a hard time developing healthy relationships after being divorced. Statistics show 67 percent of those who marry a second time have a higher chance of divorcing than those who marry for the first time. (US Divorce Rates and Statistics)